


Turning the Page

by machka



Series: Hard Lessons [5]
Category: Real Person Fiction, Tulsa Gangstas
Genre: Aftercare, BDSM, M/M, Negotiations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-26
Updated: 2009-01-26
Packaged: 2017-10-20 01:52:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/207529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/machka/pseuds/machka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"All I can see is him...I want him <i>gone.</i>"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Turning the Page

**Author's Note:**

> David returns to Andy for help in making sense of what has happened.
> 
> Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction. The events described therein are not intended to represent actual events. No libel or defamation is intended in posting said fictitious work.
> 
> In other words, it's not real, because I made it all up.

The room was dimming when Andy returned, but there was light enough left from the setting sun for him to just make out the figure slouched on the sofa.

He paused in the doorway, surprised and a little uncertain. "Dave?" he called quietly.

The man on the couch did not stir.

Andy took a tentative step into the room, closing the apartment door carefully behind him.

Still no response, and Andy's initial shock shifted toward the first stages of alarm.

"Dave," he repeated, slowly moving closer, taking care not to spook the other man, but David never reacted. It was like Andy wasn't even there.

Andy fought the impulse to cross his arms across his abdomen and hug himself, trying to dispel the inkling of fear seeping into his heart. Instead, he forced his arms down to his side, in a loose, non-threatening posture, and crossed into his friend's line of sight.

"Dave!" he called, a little more urgently, studying the other man's pose with a slight sinking feeling in his chest. "Dave, please; you're scaring me here..." he continued, and was a bit startled to realize how much of that statement was truth. "C'mon, man -- are you okay?"

Something in his voice worked to drag the other man out his near-trance, and David finally lifted his gaze from the opposite wall to Andy's face.

"Hi..." David murmured softly, a residue of distress shadowing his face as he struggled to focus.

There was no way Andy could miss his efforts.

"Hey," Andy replied with a cautious smile, trying to keep his voice light. "Where were you just now? Did you not hear me come in?"

David just stared back without replying, his eyes cloudy with some undefined emotion that Andy could neither read nor understand.

"Are you okay?" he asked, studying David's face closely. "Did it not go well?"

The silence deepened around them, and Andy watched his eyes go dark.

"Wait -- what did he--"

David cut him off with an angry gesture and averted his gaze, avoiding Andy's scrutiny.

"God damn him," Andy breathed, his mind racing to categorize the many and varied ways in which Michael could go fuck himself.

 _Fucking selfish piece of shit._

 _He doesn't deserve you._

Andy dropped his head to his chest and inhaled deeply, fighting to keep his emotions in check. It would not help matters if he were to lose control, and he knew David was counting on him to be strong enough for them both.

Still, it was so damn difficult to remain calm when he could see the minute tremors shivering through David's frame, when he knew who was responsible for putting them there...

"I'm gonna kill him," he muttered under his breath.

"Andy, c'mon..."

"It would be a mercy killing, I swear," he continued, his voice rising.

"Andy, _no_. Stop it, please."

"God damn it, David, look what he's done to you! Am I not allowed to be a little pissed off at that?"

The other man bowed his head and clenched his fists in his lap, refusing to answer.

Sighing, Andy reached out and cupped David's chin, tipping his face up to meet Andy's gaze.

"Dave," he murmured, "What do you want me to do, then?"

David closed his eyes and exhaled heavily.

"What is it you need from me, Davey?" Andy continued in the same low tone, caressing the line of David's jaw with his thumb, and watched the war of emotions sweep across David's face. "How can I help make this better?"

Without opening his eyes, David smiled faintly. "Remember when you said you knew the right kind of Dom for me?"

"Yes, I do," Andy replied, a hint of amusement in his voice.

David's smile faded. "...How the fuck do you think you know?"

Andy blinked in surprise, and settled to the couch beside him, taking one of David's hands in his. "That's a fair question," he said softly, "And it's a good one." He paused, ordering his thoughts as he kneaded David's hand gently, easing the clenched fist open.

"I guess the best answer I can give you is this: No, I haven't had any formal training as a Dom, but you've still taught me so much," he finally answered, shrugging self-consciously when David frowned. "I learned by example, mostly. I learned from watching _you_."

David's eyes flew open in alarm, seeking Andy's, and Andy threaded his fingers between David's, intertwining them, squeezing his hand in reassurance.

"Now, let me explain that, okay?" Andy continued, stroking the back of David's hand soothingly. "I watched everything you did -- the play parties, the dungeons, the talks you had with the newbies... I saw you -- how you handled Jeremy, how Neal handled _you,_ how you handled _yourself_..."

David shifted anxiously beside him, and Andy held up a hand to forestall him.

"Now, I know what you're gonna say -- 'experience is the best teacher,' right? Well, I haven't had that much _direct_ experience, it's true; and I wouldn't dare claim that I know my way around a whip or a cane, but I'm good with my hands, and I've seen you work, and I _know_ you, Dave -- I think sometimes better than you know yourself. Experience is always the best teacher, but having seen _your_ experiences is the next best thing, in my mind. So when you ask me if I know, I'm going to answer truthfully. _Yes,_ Davey -- I do."

Their eyes met, and Andy again watched the parade of emotions chasing each other in David's eyes: sorrow, longing, anxiety, despair, fear...

He hated the fear the most.

David looked down at their hands, their fingers still entwined, and blinked back sudden tears.

"Show me," he whispered.

Andy drew back slightly in surprise, cocking his head. "What?"

"Show me," David repeated, whirling to face Andy. Locking eyes with him, he clutched at Andy's arm. "I have to see it!"

"Wait. Now? Tonight?" Andy frowned, gathering himself to pull back; but the intensity of David's gaze, the desperate way he was clinging to his arm, made Andy reconsider breaking that contact. Instead, he inhaled slowly and squeezed his friend's hand, trying to draw him back under control.

"David, are you sure you're ready for this?" he asked gently, searching David's face for the truth.

"God!" David jerked away from Andy and jumped to his feet, pacing the room restlessly. "There's this scene that keeps playing in my head, Andy, and all I can see is _him_ \-- _his_ face, _his_ hands, his mouth and his body and his eyes..." A violent shudder ran through his body, and he shook out his arms to disguise it. "I--I want him _gone_ , you understand? _Gone_ from that scene, gone from my thoughts, from my mind..." His eyes snapped back to Andy's face. "I want him _gone._ "

Andy's eyes hadn't missed a thing that had happened, and he absolutely couldn't ignore the sudden vehemence in David's tone. He could certainly agree with David's desire to banish Michael's memory.

He wanted Michael gone himself.

"All right," he murmured, and watched David's eyes widen with realization. "Come here, Davey," he said, patting the cushion beside him. "Sit."

David's gaze never left Andy's as he returned to his side, but instead of settling to the couch beside his friend, he did something completely unexpected that threw Andy off-guard.

Without a word, he dropped to his knees on the floor at Andy's feet, and ducked his head to his chest.

 _Oh shit,_ Andy thought. _This is real._

The expectant air of David's posture, the suggestion he gave of listening with more than just his ears, the way his entire body seemed attuned to Andy, the offering he'd just made of himself...

 _This is really, really real._

Andy struggled to quiet his thoughts, to find his voice.

"David, sit here on the couch beside me," he managed at last. "We need to negotiate this."

David lifted his eyes, hiding a small smile of triumph.

Andy had the faintest suspicion of being manipulated, yet somehow he really didn't mind.

"You sassy-assed son of a bitch," he remarked without rancor, and David's grin deepened.

"You know it."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"God, this is so weird," Andy complained jokingly. "I've never negotiated a scene before..."

"You've seen me do it plenty of times, Andy," David reassured him. "You can do this, I promise."

"Okay! Okay. So I'm thinking that this shouldn't be a full-blown scene, by any means," Andy mused, and David murmured his approval. "Something short, something light..."

"Something comfortable for you..."

"Yeah, that too," Andy agreed with a bark of laughter. "If I'm uncomfortable, it's not going to go well, is it... So, something light... How much bondage are you comfortable with? Or rather, how much do you think you can stand?" he corrected himself, studying the darkening bruises encircling David's wrists. "I don't really want to make that any worse..."

"Um, ordinarily I'd say, 'don't worry about it'," David replied, "But honestly? I'm pretty sure you don't have a lot of stuff lying around to tie me up with, am I right?"

"Stop being a smart-ass."

"I'm not -- I'm right, right?"

"Yes. Shut up. Stop laughing, damn it! This is serious business, y'know?" Andy glared at David's quaking shoulders for a moment before punching him lightly in the arm. "Come on, Dave, don't make this difficult for me..."

"Sorry!"

"No, you're not. _Anyway,_ I guess I'm just going to have to trust that you'll listen to me when I tell you what to do...and won't _that_ be a novelty. All right, so that's taken care of -- sort of... Now, what about the physical stuff?"

"I can take whatever you dish out."

"...Your confidence is staggering, isn't it? No, hot shot, I was actually thinking about myself there, trying to decide what _I'm_ comfortable with..."

"Again, Andy," David said gently, "I can take whatever you dish out."

Andy looked at him and nodded. "Understood." He fought down the sudden urge to jump to his feet and pace the room himself. "What about the, erm...'other' physical stuff?"

David blinked at him a few times before confusion gave way to comprehension.

"You know, Andy, all of that stuff is really just a cliché. There's nothing that says every scene needs to involve sex," he said quietly, surprised to find himself suppressing a twinge of disappointment, tucking it away for later analysis.

Andy's cheeks bloomed with scarlet. "Um."

David tilted his head curiously.

"Um...what if, uh, say...I maybe _wanted_ something to happen?"

And David had never seen Andy blushing that furiously in his life.

"Well...I'd say we should discuss that..." David answered slowly. Andy shot him an exasperated look. "Hey, man," David protested, raising his hands in appeasement. "Sexual activity is part and parcel of the negotiation process..."

"You're enjoying this," Andy sulked.

"Honestly? I'm just not used to you thinking of me that way," David replied.

"Hell, I'm not used to thinking of you in that way, either!" Andy snapped back. "It's, um...it's not like the thought never occurred to me, or anything..." Again with the blush, and now Andy didn't seem to know where to look or what to do with his hands. "You've just always belonged to someone else, so I never had the chance."

"I'm available now..."

Andy threw him a sheepish smile. "I know."

"So..." David looked at him sideways. "...What did you have in mind?"

Andy's expression turned thoughtful.

"Well, let's start simple. Can I kiss you?"

"Why, _An_ dy..." David batted his eyelashes coyly, and Andy rolled his eyes.

"In the context of the scene, David... Can I kiss you?"

"Certainly."

"Will you allow me to touch you?"

"Sexually?"

Andy glared. "I thought that was the point of this discussion?"

"It is," David agreed, laughing. "I just wanted to make sure that this is really happening."

"Pinch yourself if you need to, David; but can we please be serious here?"

"Sorry... Yes, and if you ask me to, I will touch you."

"Are you willing to suck me off?"

 _Holy shit,_ David thought as his eyebrows shot skyward. Apparently, Andy's self-confidence was no longer an issue.

"Yes, I am..."

"Will you let me fuck your face?"

"Um...that's fine..."

"And if I pull out, and come on your chest -- is that okay?"

"Uh, okay, sure..."

"What about your mouth? Can I come in your mouth?"

"...Yes?"

"Don't answer a question with a question, David. Either I can or I can't, your choice. Which is it?"

This was definitely a side of Andy that David had never seen before.

...It was actually kind of hot.

He blinked and forced his thoughts back to the present.

"Uh, yes, you may..."

"I may what?"

"You may come in my mouth..."

"Do you swallow?"

"For certain people-"

"For me, David?"

The very thought of it shot right to his dick.

"...God, yes."

Andy watched the shudder travel down David's spine, and smiled. "Good."

He turned his attention to the improvised checklist in front of him, making his notations, but glanced up when David cleared his throat tentatively, breaking the silence.

"Hmmm? What is it, David?"

"Is there, uh, anything else you'd want to do?" David ventured, and it was Andy's turn to arch an eyebrow.

"Such as?"

Andy saw that David's body language had grown uncertain, saw the distancing beginning in his eyes, and Andy's expression reflected his concern.

"What did you have in mind, David?" he asked quietly.

"...Would you be expecting to, um, y'know...t'fuck me?"

And there, David's voice sounded so very small, almost as if he were dreading the response.

Andy knew instinctively that such attentions in the past had been less than welcomed. His heart ached for his friend even as his temper flared.

 _If I ever see that son-of-a-bitch again, I swear to God..._

But when he spoke, his voice was soft and gentle.

"David... Would that be something you'd willingly agree to?" Tilting his head, he rattled off a string of curses inside it as he watched the other man draw back into himself. "David," he repeated, and waited for the other man to glance up. "I would never do anything you didn't want me to do, all right? But you did bring it up, so by rights we need to negotiate this as well. Would you _willingly_ agree to have sex with me?"

He watched David's jaw work nervously.

"Dave..." Andy murmured gently, "It's okay to say 'no'."

And now David actually looked relieved, and Andy had to choke down yet another murderous impulse.

"No, I'd really rather not," David whispered, and Andy nodded.

"On that note, we don't have to do _anything_ sexual at all, if you don't want to," Andy continued gently. "You _know_ this. Even that stuff we just negotiated. If you don't want any sexual contact at all tonight, that's okay. I won't be angry with you. I just need to know."

"That's not what I'm saying at all, Andy," David protested. "If I didn't want to do those things, I wouldn't have said 'yes'. It's just this one thing I had to be clear about, because I know how things intensify when you're wrapped up in a scene..." He paused and swallowed hard before continuing. "I trust you, all right? And I'm fine with the rest."

"I won't let it get out of control, David," Andy reassured him. "Only things we've negotiated, and nothing more. I promise."

"I know."

"That's settled, then."

David graced him with a ghost of a smile, and Andy responded with a small one of his own.

"Go get yourself ready," Andy murmured, patting David's hand. "You've got a half-hour."

Ducking his head to hide the flush on his cheeks, David obeyed, scurrying away.

He didn't feel Andy's eyes on his back, watching his retreat.


End file.
